{"id":1805,"date":"2024-12-02T08:04:54","date_gmt":"2024-12-02T08:04:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happycouples.at\/?p=1805"},"modified":"2026-09-28T00:20:31","modified_gmt":"2026-09-28T00:20:31","slug":"differentiation-based-couples-counselling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happycouples.at\/en\/beitrag\/differentiation-based-couples-counselling\/","title":{"rendered":"Differentiation Based Couples Counselling"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Header&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#1A5755&#8243; background_image=&#8221;https:\/\/happycouples.at\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Blog-Linie-4.svg&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;||20px||false|false&#8221; collapsed=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;2_3,1_3&#8243; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; max_width=&#8221;1926px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;70px||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;46px||0px||false|false&#8221; collapsed=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;2_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;|||5vw|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|5vw||5vw|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;|5vw||5vw|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][dsm_breadcrumbs items_bottom=&#8221;0px&#8221; separator_bottom=&#8221;12px&#8221; current_bottom=&#8221;0px&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Breadcrumbs&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; items_font_size=&#8221;13px&#8221; home_icon_font_size=&#8221;14px&#8221; separators_text_color=&#8221;#F0ECEC&#8221; separators_font_size=&#8221;13px&#8221; current_text_color=&#8221;#F0ECEC&#8221; current_font_size=&#8221;13px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_css_main_element=&#8221;margin-bottom: 20px !important;&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/dsm_breadcrumbs][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;BEITRAGSTITEL (H1) &#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#F0ECEC&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#F0ECEC&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||10px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; header_font_size_tablet=&#8221;40px&#8221; header_font_size_phone=&#8221;32px&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h1><b>How does differentiation-based couples counselling work? <\/b><\/h1>\n<div id=\"gtx-trans\" style=\"position: absolute; left: -30px; top: 70.75px;\">\n<div class=\"gtx-trans-icon\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;HEADERTEXT&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#F0ECEC&#8221; text_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; text_line_height=&#8221;1.5em&#8221; header_3_text_color=&#8221;#F0ECEC&#8221; text_font_size_tablet=&#8221;20px&#8221; text_font_size_phone=&#8221;18px&#8221; text_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_css_main_element=&#8221;line-height: 1.6em !important;&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you interested in how I work? How does couples counselling according to David Schnarch work and is this method the right one for me? You want to stay true to yourself and at the same time have a fulfilling love relationship &#8211; find out here how my counselling can support you!\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;Inhalt&#8221; module_class=&#8221;contentbereich&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;RGBA(255,255,255,0)&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; collapsed=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;3_4,1_4&#8243; make_equal=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; max_width=&#8221;1926px&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;off|desktop&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||||false|false&#8221; custom_css_main_element=&#8221;align-self: center;&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;3_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;|5vw||5vw|false|true&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|5vw||5vw|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;|5vw||5vw|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_css_main_element=&#8221;align-self: center;&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text nach Inhaltsverzeichnis&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>There are many reasons to consider couples counselling.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Perhaps you have been feeling for some time that you are no longer truly satisfied in your relationship, but you cannot quite put your finger on why.<\/strong> Maybe \u201ceverything is fine,\u201d but you still feel that there must be more to it than this. Or maybe you&#8217;re in the middle of a crisis, conversations always end in arguments or withdrawal, and you can&#8217;t move forward or backward.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re wondering whether couples counselling might be the right thing for you right now, many questions often arise:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What exactly happens there?<\/li>\n<li>What methods are used?<\/li>\n<li>And how can I tell if a particular form of counselling is right for me?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That&#8217;s exactly where I want to support you.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">Who is this text intended for?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ve come to the right place if you want clear guidance to help you make a decision and want to better understand<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>how differentiation-based couples counselling works<\/li>\n<li>what you can specifically expect from counselling<\/li>\n<li>and whether this approach is right for you (and, if applicable, for both of you).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;You&#8217;ve come to the right place if you need help making a decision!&#8221; use_icon=&#8221;on&#8221; font_icon=&#8221;&#xe007;||divi||400&#8243; icon_color=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; icon_placement=&#8221;left&#8221; image_icon_width=&#8221;190%&#8221; content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; icon_placement_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; icon_placement_phone=&#8221;top&#8221; icon_placement_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Sug 1 &#8211; Gr\u00fcn\/Blau&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#1A5755&#8243; header_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;rgba(58,158,126,0.2)&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|||0px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px|30px|16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|||30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;20px|30px|16px|30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;center&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_right=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_left=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_color_left=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_right_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; border_width_right_phone=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_width_right_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;1-What does \u201cdifferentiation-based couples counseling\u201d mean?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">What does \u201cdifferentiation-based couples counselling\u201d mean?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I work in a differentiation-based way. Put simply, this means:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You learn to stay true to yourself, even when things get emotionally difficult.<\/li>\n<li>The focus is on your ability to self-reflect.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I use targeted questions to help you<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>recognize your own issues more clearly<\/li>\n<li>take responsibility for your experiences and behavior<\/li>\n<li>and ask yourself uncomfortable questions honestly.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In close relationships in particular, we tend to focus heavily on our partner&#8217;s reactions. Differentiation helps you not to make your self-esteem dependent on how the other person reacts. Paradoxically, this often leads to greater closeness, intimacy, and connection.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;Differentiation is the ability to maintain a stable sense of self in close emotional or physical contact with a partner.&#8221; use_icon=&#8221;on&#8221; font_icon=&#8221;&#xe007;||divi||400&#8243; icon_color=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; icon_placement=&#8221;left&#8221; image_icon_width=&#8221;190%&#8221; content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; icon_placement_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; icon_placement_phone=&#8221;top&#8221; icon_placement_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Sug 2 &#8211; Gr\u00fcn\/Blau&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#1A5755&#8243; header_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;rgba(58,158,126,0.2)&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|||0px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px|30px|16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|||30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;20px|30px|16px|30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;center&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_right=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_left=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_color_left=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_right_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; border_width_right_phone=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_width_right_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;2What exactly do you work on in counseling?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">What exactly do you work on in counselling?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In differentiation-based couples counselling, you will learn, among other things:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>To gain <strong>clarity<\/strong> about yourself: Who am I? What do I want? What are my <strong>values<\/strong>?<\/li>\n<li>To take care of yourself without constantly needing validation<\/li>\n<li>To calm yourself down and acknowledge old wounds without being overwhelmed by them<\/li>\n<li>How to withstand conflict without escalating or withdrawing<\/li>\n<li>How to allow <strong>intimacy<\/strong> while maintaining your own <strong>integrity<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>How to develop a <strong>healthy balance between closeness and autonomy<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You work on these issues because your relationship is important to you:\u00a0the relationship with your partner <strong>and<\/strong> the relationship with yourself.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;You are working on these goals because the relationship is important to you &#8211; your love relationship AND the relationship with yourself.&#8221; use_icon=&#8221;on&#8221; font_icon=&#8221;&#xe007;||divi||400&#8243; icon_color=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; icon_placement=&#8221;left&#8221; image_icon_width=&#8221;190%&#8221; content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; icon_placement_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; icon_placement_phone=&#8221;top&#8221; icon_placement_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Sug 3 &#8211; Gr\u00fcn\/Blau&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#1A5755&#8243; header_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;rgba(58,158,126,0.2)&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|||0px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px|30px|16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|||30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;20px|30px|16px|30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;center&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_right=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_left=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_color_left=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_right_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; border_width_right_phone=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_width_right_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;3Is there a clear goal for the counseling?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\"><strong>Is there a clear goal for the counselling?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Yes.<\/p>\n<p>At the beginning, you (alone or together with your partner) develop a clear work assignment:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What do I want to change or understand better through counselling?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This focus helps to make the conversations clear and effective.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;4What exactly happens during counseling?&#8221; module_id=&#8221;teil-2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">What exactly happens during counselling?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The counselling follows a <strong>clear structure<\/strong>. The focus is on the here and now:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>How do you interact with each other in the counselling room?<\/li>\n<li>When does tension arise?<\/li>\n<li>What emotions are noticeable- even unspoken ones?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I openly address what I perceive, even if it is uncomfortable. I ask many specific questions to reveal relationship dynamics and encourage self-reflection. In doing so, I do not strictly adhere to classic conversation rules such as \u201clet people finish speaking.\u201d I actively intervene to break entrenched patterns and enable <strong>new perspectives<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>This may feel unfamiliar or irritating at first, but this is often where the potential for development lies.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;It&#8217;s about seeing things from a different perspective.&#8221; use_icon=&#8221;on&#8221; font_icon=&#8221;&#xe007;||divi||400&#8243; icon_color=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; icon_placement=&#8221;left&#8221; image_icon_width=&#8221;190%&#8221; content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; icon_placement_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; icon_placement_phone=&#8221;top&#8221; icon_placement_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Sug 4 &#8211; Gr\u00fcn\/Blau&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#1A5755&#8243; header_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;rgba(58,158,126,0.2)&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|||0px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px|30px|16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|||30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;20px|30px|16px|30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;center&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_right=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_left=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_color_left=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_right_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; border_width_right_phone=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_width_right_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;5My role as a counselor&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.8&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\"><b>My role as a counselor<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I am a third party who looks at your relationship from the outside. That doesn&#8217;t mean <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">that I know what is \u201cright\u201d or \u201cwrong\u201d or that I tell you what to do.\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead, I support you in<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">understanding relationship dynamics<\/span><\/li>\n<li>taking responsibility for your own behavior<\/li>\n<li>and developing new ways of acting.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By the way: I chose this method very deliberately: I myself have lived in an intercultural relationship for many years and know from my own experience that it makes the most sense to face reality and take responsibility, above all for yourself. If you would like to know more about me, I encourage you to read <a href=\"https:\/\/happycouples.at\/en\/about-me\/\">about me<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;6David Schnarch&#8217;s four points of balance&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">David Schnarch&#8217;s four points of balance<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>According to David Schnarch, four so-called \u201cpoints of balance\u201d are needed for differentiation to grow. These are systematically strengthened in counselling. The more stable these four points are, the more you can:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>become less dependent on the judgment of others<\/li>\n<li>stand up for yourself more clearly<\/li>\n<li>and experience genuine intimacy in your relationship<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These skills are primarily promoted through specific, deliberately asked questions.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"gtx-trans\" style=\"position: absolute; left: -30px; top: 241.625px;\">\n<div class=\"gtx-trans-icon\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;We systematically strengthen your differentiation through counselling.&#8221; use_icon=&#8221;on&#8221; font_icon=&#8221;&#xe007;||divi||400&#8243; icon_color=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; icon_placement=&#8221;left&#8221; image_icon_width=&#8221;190%&#8221; content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; icon_placement_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; icon_placement_phone=&#8221;top&#8221; icon_placement_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Sug 5 &#8211; Gr\u00fcn\/Blau&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.8&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#1A5755&#8243; header_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;rgba(58,158,126,0.2)&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|||0px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px|30px|16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|||30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;20px|30px|16px|30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;center&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_right=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_left=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_color_left=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_right_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; border_width_right_phone=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_width_right_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; title_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; title_tablet=&#8221;We systematically strengthen your differentiation through counselling.&#8221; title_phone=&#8221;We systematically strengthen your differentiation through counselling.&#8221;][\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;7 A real life example&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">A real-life example<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Christina complained bitterly about her partner: &#8220;I&#8217;m at home with the children all day. I tidy up, cook, organize, and the first thing he says when he comes home is:<\/p>\n<p>\u2018What does it look like in here?\u2019&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Christina felt devalued and invisible. She had told her partner this many times, but nothing changed. In the first session, both of them expected me to criticize the partner for his statement. Instead, I asked Christina a different question:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs your partner right? HOW does it look&#8230; and are you satisfied with it yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This question irritated both of them. But it was precisely this that <strong>shifted the focus<\/strong> away from blame and toward <strong>self-reflection<\/strong>. Christina realized that she was not living up to her own standards and that her partner&#8217;s comment reflected something that was weighing on her. After a few sessions, she was able to say clearly:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want things to be different at home, but I don&#8217;t want to be solely responsible for that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The family&#8217;s daily routine was reorganized. Christina regained her ability to act and had <strong>real choices<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"gtx-trans\" style=\"position: absolute; left: -30px; top: 241.625px;\">\n<div class=\"gtx-trans-icon\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;How can I expand my scope of action instead of always reacting in the same way?&#8221; use_icon=&#8221;on&#8221; font_icon=&#8221;&#xe007;||divi||400&#8243; icon_color=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; icon_placement=&#8221;left&#8221; image_icon_width=&#8221;190%&#8221; content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; icon_placement_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; icon_placement_phone=&#8221;top&#8221; icon_placement_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Sug 6- Gr\u00fcn\/Blau&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#1A5755&#8243; header_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;rgba(58,158,126,0.2)&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|||0px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px|30px|16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|||30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;20px|30px|16px|30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;center&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_right=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_left=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_color_left=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_right_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; border_width_right_phone=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_width_right_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;8 What it ultimately comes down to&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\"><b>What it ultimately comes down to<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How can you expand your scope of action instead of always reacting in the same way?<\/span><\/li>\n<li>How willing are you to deal with uncomfortable issues if they enable personal growth?<\/li>\n<li>Does your behavior truly reflect your own values?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;9 Summary&#8221; module_id=&#8221;teil-5&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<h2><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\"><b>Summary<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Long-term romantic relationships come with challenges. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Differentiation-based couples counselling uses these challenges as an <strong>opportunity for personal growth<\/strong>. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Targeted questions encourage self-reflection, strengthen responsibility, and reveal new options for action. The counselling follows a clear structure and aims to enable lasting change.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_blurb title=&#8221;Are you prepared to stick with important topics because they are important for your relationship?&#8221; use_icon=&#8221;on&#8221; font_icon=&#8221;&#xe007;||divi||400&#8243; icon_color=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; icon_placement=&#8221;left&#8221; image_icon_width=&#8221;190%&#8221; content_max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; icon_placement_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; icon_placement_phone=&#8221;top&#8221; icon_placement_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Sug 7 &#8211; Gr\u00fcn\/Blau&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#1A5755&#8243; header_font_size=&#8221;20px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;rgba(58,158,126,0.2)&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;|||20px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|||0px|false|false&#8221; image_icon_custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px|30px|16px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|||30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;20px|30px|16px|30px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; text_orientation_tablet=&#8221;left&#8221; text_orientation_phone=&#8221;center&#8221; text_orientation_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_right=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_left=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_color_left=&#8221;#3A9E7E&#8221; border_width_right_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; border_width_right_phone=&#8221;3px&#8221; border_width_right_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;#Text nach Sug 7&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.8&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"idTextPanel\" class=\"jqDnR\">\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">If your relationship is important to you, now is the time to take a closer look.<\/span><\/strong><br \/>Take advantage of a free first call: get to know me, ask your questions, and find out how this form of counselling can help you move forward. If you also want to know what to expect practically, how sessions are structured, and how this approach differs from general coaching, you\u2019ll find a concise overview in the <a href=\"https:\/\/happycouples.at\/en\/faq\/\">FAQ on counselling and method<\/a>.<br \/><strong>You don&#8217;t need to know anything yet- just be willing to take an honest look.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=&#8221;\/en\/contact\/&#8221; button_text=&#8221;Free First Call&#8221; button_alignment=&#8221;left&#8221; button_alignment_tablet=&#8221;center&#8221; button_alignment_phone=&#8221;center&#8221; button_alignment_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.8&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;27c59870-7acd-40a4-b9bb-797fc25ff005&#8243; custom_margin=&#8221;10px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;10px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;10px|0px|0px|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|tablet&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;|5vw||5vw|false|true&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|5vw||5vw|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;|5vw||5vw|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_css_main_element=&#8221;align-self: center;&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you interested in how I work? How does couples counselling according to David Schnarch work and is this method the right one for me? You want to stay true to yourself and at the same time have a fulfilling love relationship &#8211; find out here how my counselling can support you!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1805","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-en-blog"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Differentiation Based Couples Counselling \u2764 Happy Couples Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Discover how differentiation-based couples counselling works \u2013 for more clarity, trust, and freedom in your relationship. Learn more!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/happycouples.at\/en\/beitrag\/differentiation-based-couples-counselling\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Differentiation Based Couples Counselling \u2764 Happy Couples Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Discover how differentiation-based couples counselling works \u2013 for more clarity, trust, and freedom in your relationship. 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