Building Authentic Relationships
I listen, ask questions and work with you to identify the issues at hand.
Finding solutions with the Crucible® method
Relationships can only function as long as people are able to fulfil their own needs, realise their potential and understand each other. Difficult phases in intense and long-term relationships are often closely connected to the individuals’ struggle for their own identity. Different cultural backgrounds can make such phases even more confusing. We should, however, always see them as opportunities for growth that can make our relationships more resilient when we find creative solutions. The Crucible® method is about resolving compromises that only give rise to tensions and together identifying new relationship paths which will create the necessary space for change.
Goals of the Crucible® method
- Find clarity: Who are you? What do you want? What are your goals? Reflecting on these questions is essential for everyone, but particularly important if you feel forced to adopt your partner’s ideas and beliefs
- Increase your self-esteem: Acquire self-care skills and become independent of your partner’s approval and recognition. We will work on healing your inner wounds and overcoming your fears.
- Experience ease of mind: You will learn not to overreact when your partner is upset. This will allow you to avoid creating distance or running away from your problems and to use alternative approaches instead.
- Find strength: You will be able to resolve unsettling problems as soon as you are truly ready to deal with them. Couples counselling is an opportunity for you to grow as a couple and to find new strength.
- Building relationships: Create a balance between independence and commitment. Protect your own identity and integrity instead of becoming indistinguishable from your partner. This will also help you to create intimacy.
Solving problems in just a few sessions
When one partner in a relationship wants to embark on new or different paths, this can be quite unsettling for the other one. It is, however, absolutely natural that this happens from time to time. It is part of every relationship. And so the question is: how to deal with it effectively?
One of the goals of couples counselling is to identify destructive patterns in your relationship and overcome these barriers. I support you in developing new perspectives and working on solutions. Our partners are like mirrors, confronting us with our own issues. I will help you to find clarity and calm. Together we will work out solutions in just a few sessions. Find out more about my counselling packages!
Counselling according to David Schnarch
When working with (intercultural) couples and families, I often rely on the solution-oriented Crucible® method, which was developed by US psychotherapist and author David Schnarch. “Crucible” refers, among other things, to difficult incidents or phases which have a lasting influence on people. Such phases, which often arise due to a combination of specific emotions and habits, may feel like a trial. They may change relationships.
The most difficult challenges in relationships, according to David Schnarch, include:
- opening up to our partner and showing them our true feelings
- becoming independent of our partner’s recognition or approval
Couples often see that things start changing after just a few sessions. Things start moving, perspectives start changing. In our sessions, we will work intensively. This allows us to keep the number of necessary sessions to a minimum. Together we can decide on the right intervals between sessions and the ideal setting for you!
Please note
I offer counselling in person in my practice and online.
Counselling cannot replace psychotherapeutic or medical treatment. If necessary, I will be happy to refer you to a psychotherapist or medical doctor.
Want to learn more?
Book your free first meeting.